Fast forward a few years to age 16 and to this day I couldn’t tell you exactly what happened but something was triggered and I started to believe that I wasn’t good enough - for anything. I left college and the joy of life just seemed to have left me. I took myself out of every social circle I was in so it was like I never existed - I just wanted to hide in my own world. 
 
My life then deteriorated further - I lost loads of weight, weighing no more than 5 stone I looked like a walking skeleton and my skin was in the worst condition it had ever been in. I looked like a burns victim - my skin was weeping (everywhere) legs, torso, arms, back, face. My clothes would stick to me and I would have to sit in the bath to peel the clothes off me other wise the pain would be unbearable. Doing any kind of movement was excruciating as my skin would burn and sting and it constantly felt like my body was on fire. ​

The inspirational Miranda King is chatting to us about her unwanted birthday present, and how she navigated through a sudden cancer diagnosis at 30...

September 26: Fertility was pulled into question as chemo can damage your ovaries. Children weren’t even on my mind at this point in my life but I also didn’t expect to have the option taken away from me. I had 48 hours to decide if I wanted to start IVF or go straight in to start chemo. I was lucky enough to have family support which gave me the financial opportunity to go through IVF. I am still extremely thankful for this and think about our potential mini-me’s often. 

September 28: My first day of Chemotherapy. I believe I was in denial for the first few months of my treatment. The only thing I allowed to change was that I chose to stop working so that I may concentrate on fighting this shitty disease. The days directly after a chemo session were spent on the sofa, unable to eat for 3 of them and Netflix became a great support. Once I started to feel better and before my next chemo session, I would still meet up with friends and even went once on a little holiday with my in-laws to Vancouver Island. This was such a wonderful time of joy for me, it gave me the chance to leave my home bubble for a spell and forget what was going on. My hair started falling out during that trip but I didn’t let it ruin the time.

October 22: We shaved my hair off. I had this whole idea to shave it off whilst friends watched, a make-up artist made me look like a warrior princess and a photographer took photos. In the end, I was in my tiny bathroom with one of my best friends and my mother-in-law whilst Finn did the shaving. We all ended up crying a lot in there. I did still have friends come over that evening and they still made me feel so amazing when I felt at one of my lowest points.

January 17: My last chemo appointment! By no means was the journey over but a really shitty and difficult part was. I don’t remember much from that day but I do remember feelings and some words. I had one of my best friends come with me to the appointment and we were both just smiling and laughing after the appointment. A nurse in the elevator smiled at us and said ‘This must be your last appointment, congratulations!’ and it was so nice of her to say so. It was a big deal!
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 I was a young and enthusiastic ‘ready-for-the-world’ 23-year-old, fresh out of uni with my 2.1 law degree. I was engaged and felt like I was unstoppable. I got married a few months after graduation and then…it all came crashing down. 
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My 3.5-year marriage was a complete nightmare and one that sucked all my zest for life.  I had no self-worth and became a shadow of the person I truly am, was mentally abused to believe I was always the problem, distanced from friends and family, had to ask permission to visit my mum and tried to commit suicide at one point. 

I’d often blank out that part of my life.  It’s only been recently (6 years later) and after a lot of personal development that I’ve appreciated the saving grace from that time of my life.  My passion for photography.  I didn’t see it then but I had been perfecting the foundation of what would become my life’s passion. 

During my marriage I taught myself how to photograph in-action shots on a borrowed manual camera – something not many people can do these days!  After I got divorced I bought my own camera and things have soared since then.  I’ve photographed fashion shows, film sets, BBC short series, portraits, created some amazing creative mad max styled shoots, even photographed abroad, been featured in articles, done lives and am creating a thriving business for myself.

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I’ve rediscovered my self-worth (something that I will never let go of again) and realised how much my childhood trauma of abandonment has a big role to play.  Fear of abandonment can cause people like me to neglect ourselves and try to prove we’re loveable, wanted, are enough.  As a result, we allow ourselves to be mistreated because we so want to be loved and are willing to settle for crumbs when really we deserve SO MUCH more!

I’m now walking in my values, knowing that my dreams, voice and opinions matters. That I matter. My advice to other women is:
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• Know you are enough, you always have been and always will be. 

• Challenge the societal and cultural expectations we’ve learnt as children because they don’t serve us well as adults
• Don’t be afraid to take risks as success is outside the comfort zone.

• Difficult times are there to elevate us – find out what the lesson to learn is.

• A key self-care tip is to make sure you spend time on yourself whether that’s a nap, a walk in the park, reading a book, listening to music or gym.  It’s important for your mental sanity (trust me!)

 

To kick off our Womens Wisdom guest blog series we have the wonderful Amy from South Wales! 
Here's what she has to say: 

My hair began to thin around the time of my 21st birthday. Thinking I was dying it too much and using heat such as straighteners etc. I thought nothing of it. But as the days went on more and more hair started to fall out, it went for little bits on my pillow to waking up to clumps. Within about 4 weeks i lost 90% of my hair, it happened all so quick and I didn’t really have any explanations, I was left confused with what was happening to me. I went to the doctors 3 or 4 times and each time I left with the same answer, you have 'alopecia' no one knows how it is caused or triggered and theres nothing we can do to help it grow back. It’s unpredictable. 
I felt lost. Looking in the mirror was such a hard task, I looked so different, I was bald. A bald GIRL. I couldn't get my head around it. I felt like a freak, I felt ashamed. I felt my life was over, how could I go about as I normally did? How could I achieve things with the way I felt? How could I afford human hair wigs? I felt like every door was closed for me and my anxiety and depression got in the way of almost everything. ​

I still have my down days, everyone does. But I feel completely different now, I have a fiancee who stuck with my through the whole transition, he kept me calm told me I was beautiful and kept me focused on the import things in life. He was such a big help. We have a beautiful daughter now who keeps me busy and makes me realise that there is more to life than hair. I feel more empowered that I am myself, I have helped loads of people by doing some work with BBC news on alopecia, working with BBC sesh doing some sketches about the perks of alopecia (bring a positive vibe to the subject). Loads of people have messaged me and I have been able to guide them in the right direction to products, help, advice pages etc. It’s almost like I was given alopecia to help others going through the same thing. Although I felt awful at first, I did adapt very quick, I didn’t really have a choice. I'm the type of person who tries to make the most out of every situation and count my blessings. I'm still alive, still breathing. I have a roof over my head and friends and family who love me. It could be worse right?
I faced so many challenges at first. From not going out for weeks because I couldn’t come to terms with what I looked like. Not being able to answer the door, not feeling confident enough to go swimming or the gym. Getting used to wearing a wig, doesn't seem like much but when its not your own hair it gets so annoying and can come out of place, it can also become really itchy and irritating. At the time of loosing my hair I was forced to take time of work as I worked with food and my hair was falling out every time I turned my head. That was a big challenge to give up work as I’ve always kept busy and liked earning my own income. It was challenging coming to terms with the fact I had no control over the situation. I like to be in control and know whats going on not having that, or any answers was so frustrating.