I was a young and enthusiastic ‘ready-for-the-world’ 23-year-old, fresh out of uni with my 2.1 law degree. I was engaged and felt like I was unstoppable. I got married a few months after graduation and then…it all came crashing down.
My 3.5-year marriage was a complete nightmare and one that sucked all my zest for life. I had no self-worth and became a shadow of the person I truly am, was mentally abused to believe I was always the problem, distanced from friends and family, had to ask permission to visit my mum and tried to commit suicide at one point.
I’d often blank out that part of my life. It’s only been recently (6 years later) and after a lot of personal development that I’ve appreciated the saving grace from that time of my life. My passion for photography. I didn’t see it then but I had been perfecting the foundation of what would become my life’s passion.
During my marriage I taught myself how to photograph in-action shots on a borrowed manual camera – something not many people can do these days! After I got divorced I bought my own camera and things have soared since then. I’ve photographed fashion shows, film sets, BBC short series, portraits, created some amazing creative mad max styled shoots, even photographed abroad, been featured in articles, done lives and am creating a thriving business for myself.
I’ve rediscovered my self-worth
I’ve rediscovered my self-worth (something that I will never let go of again) and realised how much my childhood trauma of abandonment has a big role to play. Fear of abandonment can cause people like me to neglect ourselves and try to prove we’re loveable, wanted, are enough. As a result, we allow ourselves to be mistreated because we so want to be loved and are willing to settle for crumbs when really we deserve SO MUCH more!
I’m now walking in my values, knowing that my dreams, voice and opinions matters. That I matter. My advice to other women is: