• Laura Poole

Self-Love For Beginners - The Best Relationship You’ll Ever Have

Updated: Nov 20



You really thought this was the one, didn’t you? All the signs were there. They were kind, caring, and attentive. They seemed to love you for you, which is probably why the breakup was such a gut punch. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.

However, before you go back out looking for love, it’s time to address a long-standing problem.

Self-love.

You should have a chance to experience the best relationship you’ll ever have, which is the one you’ll have with yourself. So many people go years, even decades without a good relationship with themselves. They want self-love but don’t know how to practice it.

I figure we can change that, don’t you?


What is Self-Love?

So, let’s take a look at the basics for a second. What is self-love?

Well, to me, self-love is all about having a positive relationship with who you are. You know how when you look in the mirror and you’re like “oh dear” and not “god I look great?”



Honestly, that’s the just surface of what I’m on about. But, to me, it's a good approximation of self-love. It’s about having that healthy and positive relationship with yourself and not shitting on yourself all the time. I understand, especially us women, that throughout the month we may look at ourselves a bit differently in the mirror. Once a month I catch myself comparing myself to others but after working on my relationship with myself I notice it, take a step back, limit social media and go and eat some chocolate.


See, self-love can take many different forms. Sometimes it’s looks like letting yourself dress in jogging bottoms and a hoodie, sometimes it’s about not going back to an unhealthy relationship or person, and sometimes it’s about making the right life decisions for yourself.

Don’t get me wrong, self-love is hard. It can be difficult to love yourself in an authentic way when society is always bearing down on us about how we could do better, be more, achieve more. But heres the thing, you don't need to do better, be more or achieve more. You are already worthy of love just as you are. You may not believe me yet but give it time and you'll see.


Self-Love Tips For Beginners.

Lots of people find that starting to love themselves authentically for the first time is difficult, difficult lemon, difficult. That’s to be expected, but so it’s important to begin to implement a few daily changes here and there, building habits over time. I thought I would share some of my top tips with you.

Try treating yourself like a family member or close friend. We often take care of our family and friends without thinking about it. We tidy up after them, fuss over them, make decisions with their best interest in mind.

Treat yourself with the same amount of respect and love that you would treat your best friend, your mum or anyone else important to you.

Something else I think it’s really important to do is to acknowledge that you’re trying. Nobody is perfect, nobody loves themselves all the time. When we’ve just had a bad break up or a bad day at work or an argument with a friend, it’s difficult to look at yourself and love what you see. You have to understand that self-love is not perfect, but the fact that you’re trying is so important.

I get it, self-love can be difficult. I’m not expecting anybody to make the sudden change and fall deeply in love with themselves overnight, but don't you think it’s time that you had a better relationship with yourself? I really think you could. I think you could love yourself. I think you should love yourself, the way you’ve always wanted to be loved.